Deep Sorrow

Sit quiet grizzled bear
Smack your wet mouth
High on my shoulder.
Perch there if you must
But I spy who you are.
Cast your black thoughts
Into claws pinching cold
Though I cry for a halt.
You tell of her eyes
I know, remember again
Smack your wet mouth
Go on I dare:
You growl cold, remind me again
Of her pain, such hurt: my angel.
Grizzled bear high
You do me no favour,
Perched as you wish.
I know who you are.

Although the poem is called Deep Sorrow, it's more about some kind of guilt than it is about sorrow. It seems that the narrator is troubled by something he has done, or hasn't done. When I was writing it, I wanted it to be about someone who had lost a loved one to illness, and was being ripped apart by a sense of their own uselessness; the fact that they were powerless to save their lover. Their self-awareness of the situation is what gives them their 'deep sorrow.'

But sometimes when I read it now, I can see a much more sinister possibility; that the thing troubling the narrator is pure remorse, rather than just survivor guilt. Perhaps in that case, it should be called 'a fugitive until death.' 


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