Fading (Autumn) Light


The shadow crept across your face
Chasing the smile from your lips
From your eyes too
Though they never left their page

But you were there too
As we cleaved from the kindness
And found our heads thus bowed

It makes no sense to me
It makes no sense at all

When the summer ends
I'll be there
When the sun is gone
I'll stay warm

The thought endured, as the loneliness
Pulled and gripped me tight,
That the fire would return
To light your story again

Well I was there too
When the joy filled our hearts
And we shone with the sun

It makes no sense to me
It makes no sense at all

When the summer ends
I'll be there
When the sun is gone
I'll stay warm

The light fades with the book not read
And the tale still untold
And tiredness pulls at our sleeves
Though we try to shake it off

We are there too
Arm in arm and hand in hand
Willing the pages to turn

It makes no sense to me
It makes no sense at all

When the summer ends
I'll be there
When the sun is gone
I'll stay warm

When the summer ends
I'll be there
Waiting
When the sun is gone
I'll stay warm
Forever




At first glance the poem seems to be about people, but it's not really; it's more about cycles. It's about the annual cycle with the end of the autumn and the onset of winter, and it's about the daily cycle too, with the sun setting and darkness coming. In my mind there's also a hint of the 'autumn' of life, and thus the cycle of life.

I like it, but I don't think it works entirely. It feels unfinished to me. I'm thinking that I didn't give myself enough space; there's a lot more I could have said; a lot more I wanted to say, and it's perhaps a case of trying to say too much at once: where's the space? Autumn has space doesn't it? Just like the winter. It might be one to work on over the long winter nights, ne.

It's probably also true that the focus (the centre of the poem) isn't clear. I could have made that a feature of the poem (it's lack of clear focus) and maybe mentioned autumn mist or something like that, but actually it wasn't that kind of light that sparked my creativity. I saw the changing leaves in the woods, and the low light source catching the trees in an interesting way, and I had the couplet in my head about summer ending and sun going, for the rest of that day.

The book/story thing maybe needs further exploration too, or possible that's the weakness of the poem. I was just thinking, we need light to read a story in a book and light to live the story of our life. I'm not at all sure it works.

As I said, this is one poem I'll be certain to revisit I think.

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